


If this is a romcom kill the director

by MamaWouldBeSoProud



Series: Tales of boys and boys and hockey pipedreams [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Blowjobs, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Good Lord I am obsessed with these two, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, SO MUCH FLUFF, Turned out superangsty somehow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 02:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10479546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaWouldBeSoProud/pseuds/MamaWouldBeSoProud
Summary: --He doesn't know when he first realized that something was different with Auston around. When he first understood that love can be a pretty sneaky son of a bitch.--





	

“You're avoiding me for some reason, right?” Matthews says as soon as they get into the car. It sounds like a question, but it's really not. Auston knows something is up, and Mitch knows that there is no way he can bullshit his friend right now. Auston is way smarter than him. He knows that. They both do, actually.

He starts the car and they leave the underground garage of the ACC. It's hours after the game and the streets are relatively empty by now. Matthews keeps looking at him from the passenger seat. Mitch sighs. “Why would you ask me that?” Auston raises an eyebrow. “Um, because it's true? Dumbass.” He puts the insult in after a tiny pause. Like an afterthought. Like a term of endearment. Which it is. And Mitch decides to go for the truth. Because you can't lie to your teammate and your best friend. Not when you spend this much time with each other.

“Everyone thinks we're a couple. A...” he pauses slightly. “A _gay_ couple.” They stop at a red light. He can't look over at Auston. He will probably burst into flames when he does. He can already feel his face and neck blushing violently. Thank fuck it's dark in the car. After a few seconds (that definitely feel like 10 minutes. Or longer. Probably it's much much longer) he hears Matthews exhale. “So fucking what?” he says.

The light has turned green and Mitch puts his foot on the gas with a little more force than necessary. He risks a glance at Matthews who looks oddly unperturbed. His eyebrows are raised and there's the hint of a grin around his mouth. “Never took you for a homophobe, Mitchy...” “I'm _not_ a homophobe!” Mitch says heatedly. “I'm really not!” Matthews makes a little snorting sound and Marner wants to hit him. Like, in the face. “But, come on, it has to annoy you a little too at least.” Auston shrugs and crosses his arms across his chest. “Not really, no. Why would it?” “Because people think that we are doing it and that we are gay for each other and..” Auston's laugh cuts him off. It's not a nice laugh. Not one of those that Mitch works for with endless jokes and goofing around. Not one of those that make his belly go warm from the inside. “Gay for each other? Wow, Mitch. Just...wow!” And then they don't speak anymore.

When they pull up to Auston's house, Mitch doesn't ask whether he should park the car and come up to watch a movie or something. And Auston doesn't invite him in, either. But when he gets out of the car he turns around and says “You know, my coach in Switzerland used to say that if you are a homophobe, you are either an idiot or you're secretly scared that dicks are delicious. And I'm fairly sure you're not an idiot. Or I was until tonight.” He slams the car door shut and for the first time in his life, Mitch wishes he was a smoker. His grandmother would have smoked a cigarette now for sure. (He drinks two light beers when he gets home instead. It will have to suffice.)

\--

Mitch has always been very affectionate with people. Cuddly even. And he has never ever given a damn about what other people might think of him. He just can't help it. I mean, how can people walk through life without hugging and cuddling and love-tackling? And why would you even consider doing that? People made fun of him for being tight with Davo and with Stromer. The internet was filled with bromance-gifs and their teammates made comments about them moving to Vermont, adopting a French bulldog and going to the farmer's market every Saturday. And Mitch never minded. Because he's not a homophobe, he's really not. And he always had gorgeous girlfriends and he was on his way to the fucking NHL, so the laugh was on everybody else.

And then he met Auston and everything kinda sorta changed. Not at first, at first it was like it always had been when he met a new friend. They spent their time together, carpooled together and snapchatted each other silly images at 3am. Normal stuff. Bro stuff. Then they sang on the bench and again the internet exploded with 'rookie romance' pictures and Mitch's phone blew up with chirpy messages from every guy he had ever been on the ice with. 'Seems like you have a new boyfriend now' Stromer texted him. 'Way to break the news, Mitchy!' He simply replied with a 'Fuck off, Stromeboy' and a heart emoji. That's how they did things.

And the 'tumblr bromance moments' (as Rielly liked to call them) kept on happening. The matching hats (that one was on Mitch, but hey – no regrets!), the videos of them goofing around during practice (definitely not his fault. Matthews was hilarious, what was he supposed to do? Ignore him?), holding Bozies baby during the Christmas party (it had been Auston who had put his hand over his! Auston and his stupid ginormous hands! How was that _his_ fault?!) and then the 'hugging fight incident'. When Ristolainen went after Auston and Mitch got tunnel vision and his only thought was to get that Finnish beast away from his teammate. Martin chirped him for days on end, because according to him 'Only you would think that hugging a person until they fall over is a proper fight, Mitchy!' Mitch didn't mind. He just laughed and drove Matthews home and they played Call of Duty long enough until Auston could finally squeeze out a “Thanks for stepping in, dude.” and Mitch could say “Forget it, man.” All was well.

\--

And then something shifted. He doesn't know why or when or how. But all of a sudden it started to bother him. Not Auston, he never bothered him somehow. But the chirping. And the tumblr posts and the fact that when he put his own name into Google, the stupid thing suggested he also put in Matthews' name. No Mitch Marner without Auston Matthews apparently. It was probably just the amount of attention he got now that he was in the NHL. It was just that. The amount of pressure.

\--

They don't really speak that much after their fight (or whatever it was) in the car. But they go to Florida a few days later. And when Mitch goes on a fishing trip with some of their teammates, Matthews doesn't join. “Not a big fan of sharks, man.” he tells Marty during breakfast. And then he stays at the beach and he doesn't even comment on any of Mitch's Instagram pictures. Not even a like. (He also doesn't watch his snapchat story. Not that Mitch is checking.)

The next night Auston doesn't sit next to him on the bench. During the warm up he doesn't look in Marner's direction once. Instead he jokes around with Nylander. They lose pretty spectacularly, but Mitch doubts that a win would have made him feel better anyways.

\--

 **Mitch** : Why didn't you sit next to me today?

 **Auston** : Didn't want anyone to think we're “gay for each other”. Thought that was obvious?!

 **Mitch** : Oh c'mon man, don't be like this. Can we talk? This is so stupid.

 **Auston:**  For sure. But not now. It's 2 in the morning and we need to get up in 5 hours.

 **Mitch** : Alright. Sleep tight, I'll see you tomorrow.

 **Auston** : K.

 **Mitch** : Sweet dreams.

(Matthews doesn't reply to this. And Mitch is definitely not staring at his phone, waiting for the three dots that indicate typing. He really is not.)

\--

Mitch so so regrets the texts he sent to Auston in the middle of the night, while Marty was snoring in the bed next to his. But he hadn't been able to sleep. And that never happened. Like ever. As 100% 'on' as Mitch Marner is when he is awake, he usually goes out like a light when his head hits the pillow. “Why didn't you sit next to me today?” Mitch cringes just thinking about it. What a fucking kindergarten thing to say. But Auston is pissed at him, and Mitch hates when people are pissed at him. Especially when he really wants to tell them stuff and joke around with them and maybe hug them for no apparent reason.

He needs to let off some steam, so he almost kills himself during the morning skate, going after the puck like it is the fucking Stanley Cup finale and then opts for jogging back to the hotel instead of taking the bus with the rest of the team. It earns him some weird looks from Marty, Mo and Bozie but Mitch is way too tired and exhausted and at the same time too riled up to care. Under the hot shower he decides to crank one out as well. Definitely the most pleasant form of relieving tension, he thinks while stroking himself slowly.

The hot water fogs up every glass surface in the tiny hotel bathroom and he lets it drum on his neck, while his hand goes up and down his aching boner. God this feels good. All wet and slippery, hot water mixing with the precum on his palm. He is so, so tired. And maybe this is why he lets thoughts and images roam around his head without any safety shields in place. Just losing himself in the moment and not thinking about this whole shitty situation with Auston for a second. Auston with his stupid face and his stupid hair that falls into his forehead all the time and his stupid big eyes and lips and... His eyes fly open. Whoa there! Safety shields activate! He needs to stop thinking about Matthews while he has his own cock in his hand. Because if _that_ isn't gay, he doesn't know what is. (Not that there is anything wrong with being gay. But... you know.)

He thinks about that porn clip he watched a few days earlier. With the two girls in the hottub. And he thinks about that blond girl he took back to the hotel that one night in Montreal. And then – just as he is about to shoot, in that nanosecond when his muscles are already trembling and his balls harden and he feels his orgasm crush over him like a tsunami – he thinks about Austons lips. And how fucking fantastic they would feel on his dick. And he comes so hard he sees stars and has to steady himself against the tiled wall of the shower.

As the hot water washes away his cum he wipes a hand over his wet face. “Well, _this_ can't be good” he thinks to himself and then he feels the urge to laugh. (Maybe to cry a bit, too, but people do the weirdest shit right after they cum, right?)

\--

The mood in the locker room is ecstatic. They have beaten Tampa 5-0 and Marns got an assist on JVRs goal. Marty snapchats one pic after the other, Mo can't stop singing goofy made-up songs about the play offs and somehow it is decided that they will all go out for a drink. They have the next day off before facing the Hawks on Saturday. Marns risks a look in Auston's general direction. He is sitting next to Will, laughing about something Gardiner just said and putting on some fresh socks on his still wet feet. He needs to talk to him. This weirdness needs to stop.

Even though Marty threatens him with physical violence and he gets boos from the entire team, Mitch weasels his way out of going out and instead makes his way to the garage and his car. He will go home, order a pizza and watch something with Megan Fox in it. Like a normal dude would do. A dude that hasn't woken up in hysterics and on a tear-soaked pillow the night before, because he dreamt that Matthews had been pushed in front of a train by some faceless stranger. It has taken him almost an hour to go back to sleep. Ironically the shadows under his eyes remind him of Auston the next morning. Fucking Auston. (This obsession was getting really inconvenient. And they still hadn't talked.)

He fiddles with his phone and his car keys, so he only looks up when he is almost at his car. “Don't be scared!” Matthews says, hopping out of the dark right in front of him and Mitch makes a sound he definitely isn't proud of and drops his keys and his phone. “What the _fuck_ man!” he screeches. “You almost gave me a heart attack!” He grabs his chest (he doesn't exactly know why, but it seems the appropriate thing to do). “I said 'don't be scared',” Matthews says a little defensively but crouches down to retrieve Mitch's things. “Yeah, well, that's probably the stupidest thing to say when you scare somebody.” Auston hands him his things. “Sorry” he mumbles and puts his hands in the pockets of his stupid oversized hoodie. (Mitch has the weirdest urge to faceplant into the front of that hoodie and inhale deeply. God he needs some sleep. Or a swift slap in the face.)

Marner hasn't been this close to this friend in what feels like ages and he can see that the dark circles under Auston's eyes are definitely bigger than the last time he has seen them. “You look tired” he says, just to say something at all. Just to break this silence. No more weirdness, that's his plan now. Matthews gives him a look that is hard to read and says “Thanks. You look like shit too.” Mitch grins. And Auston – well he doesn't grin, but he gets those crinkles around his eyes and that is basically the Matthews version of a grin, so...

“I'm sorry man.” Mitch blurts out. “For what I said. It was really stupid of me. And probably homophobic. And also stupid. Have I mentioned stupid?” Auston nods. “Yeah, stupid with a capital S.” “Yup.” They look at each other. “Wanna come to my place and watch a movie?” Mitch asks, already nervously clicking his car-opening-thingy. He wants things to be back to normal. They are normal. Nothing weird happened, nothing at all.

Auston looks up at him. There is something strange in his look and Mitch can't really figure out what it is. But it makes his skin tingle. “No” Auston says simply. Mitch wrinkles his forehead. “Why not? C'mon man, I'll even let you pick the movie and the pizza toppings. That's like – a win-win-win for you!” He grins and opens his hands in a gesture like 'Who could say no to _that_?'

Auston doesn't say anything. He just looks at Mitch. Now there are definite goosebumps on Mitch's neck and all down his back. He wants to squirm like Auston is tickling him with his eyes. (still, nothing weird to see here folks! Keep on moving!)

“I _do_ like you.” Auston finally says. Mitch blinks stupidly. He doesn't really understand, can't quite connect the dots, but his voice is a little croaky nonetheless when he replies “Yeah, well, I like you too dude. I wouldn't hang out with you every single d-” “No” Matthews interrupts him. “I like you as in 'I'm gay for you' and I am pretty fucking sure that will freak you out. I mean, you made your feelings pretty clear the other night. So I won't come to your place and watch a movie. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.” He sighs and rubs his neck with his right hand. “Anyways, I just needed to tell you that. Not because I'm hoping that you would like me back but because I want to explain why I got so angry.”

Auston moves his gaze from his shoes back up to Mitch who is standing there frozen. He just stares at Matthews. Auston with his big stupid hands and his big stupid eyes and apparently his balls of steel. This ridiculously silent, slightly grumpy boy from Arizona who owns hideous plaid suits and is the worst at computer games and earnestly talks about his feelings like the fucking bravest man on earth. Who is his friend. Who now gives him a crooked grin and a shrug and makes to turn from him and walk away.

And he doesn't know what makes him do it. Makes him so sure that he isn't about to fuck things up but maybe doing the right thing for the first fucking time in his entire life. Maybe it is that fateful nanosecond in the shower when he came like a motherfucker thinking of his friend's lips, or the repeated dreams of Auston dying a violent death or the memory of his hand being completely blanketed by Austons monsterhand on the Christmas party when they held Bozie Junior. How he liked the feel of it. How he missed it when it was gone. All the times he went out of his way to make this serious boy laugh out loud. Maybe it is all of it. Maybe it is none of the above. But his right hand shoots out and grabs the front of Matthews' hoodie.

Auston looks confused for a second. Like Mitch is about to hit him. Then Mitch pulls with all his might and crashes his mouth onto Auston's. It isn't really a Hollywood kiss. It is way to brutal and fast and sloppy for that. Their teeth clank together quite painfully, but after a few seconds they both relax enough for Auston to steady Mitch by the hips and pull him in properly. And man, it gets good after that. Hollywood can go fuck itself, Mitch thinks. Because this – it's just right. So so right.

They have to stop and come up for air at some point. (Because life is just unfair like that.) With their foreheads leaning together and both panting a little bit. Mitch doesn't want to open his eyes. “Well” he hears Auston whisper. “So _that_ happened.” Mitch starts grinning. He can't stop himself. He is giddy with excitement. And he hears the smile in Auston's voice too. “I might be a little gay for you too, bro” he whispers back. Auston groans. “Oh god, you're the worst. That's the worst thing to- Please just stop talking.” “Okay” Mitch says and leans in for another kiss.

\--

They lie on Auston's huge-ass couch and try to catch their breath. Mitch's head is on Auston's bare chest (their clothes are god-knows-where. Honestly, who even cares about clothes?) and their legs are tangled together so badly Mitch is pretty sure they couldn't detach from another even if they wanted to. Especially since he feels completely boneless after what has to be the most impressive blowjob session of all times. (Who knew he would enjoy another dude's dick in his mouth so much? He sure as hell didn't.)

“You freaking out?” Matthews says in a hushed tone and Mitch looks up. There is a tiny hint of a smile on his friends face but also a dose of fear. Like Mitch could wake up from a trance in a second and bolt out of here screaming bloody murder or something. Like this isn't for real. (It tugs on Mitch's heartstrings in a very weird way, that he has that kind of power over this huge boy, who could probably bench press him if he wanted.)

“No” Mitch says quickly and buries his nose in Auston's chest. “Kinda freaks me out that it doesn't freak me out.” He looks up again. Now there is definitely a smile on Auston's face. He smiles back and scoots up a little to kiss him. “I'm gonna be an idiot sometimes, you realize that, right?” he asks him after a while. “Just so you know what you're getting into, dude!” Auston laughs and buries his fingers in Mitch's hair. “Well, apparently I have a thing for idiots, so don't worry about it.”

And so Marner doesn't. (Because worrying is really hard when you kiss someone you like this much.)

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wanted to write something funny, but somehow it turned out superangsty and fluffy. I hope you like it and apologize for any and all spelling errors. English isn't my first language..


End file.
